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How to Avoid the Biggest Divorce Mistake


San Diego divorce attorneyWhat can you do to avoid one of the biggest divorce mistakes?

In divorce, it is not only important that you work with your San Diego divorce attorney but you should also avoid one of the biggest mistakes people make during a divorce. This mistake can make your divorce more complicated, painful and very expensive.

One of the biggest divorce mistakes is losing control of your emotions.

Your divorce will “blow-up”, legally, if emotions take control. Don’t let it happen.

Even if you are divorcing a reasonable person, it might be difficult to think clearly.

If you want a smooth divorce, don’t make it about revenge. Divorce is a legal procedure. It is a huge mistake to turn it into an all-out war. The sooner you realize that divorce is not the end but a new beginning the sooner will you be able to move on and build a happier life; accept that you did your best, it did not work out, it is time to turn the page and get on with your life.

If you let your emotions take over, your divorce could easily result in personal bankruptcy.

Treat your divorce as a business transaction. Take control of your emotions. Mitigate the stress of the procedure by a healthy amount of sleep, regular exercise, and good eating habits.  You are paying your attorney to do the worrying, to deal with the stress.  Trust your divorce attorney.

Your divorce attorney is there to help you, but he is not your therapist. Your lawyer is going to help you through the technical aspect of your divorce. It is helpful to turn to counseling if you need additional emotional support.

The decisions you make during your divorce should be done with the advice of your divorce attorney. Don’t make decisions based on emotions. Listen to your attorney’s advice.

Just as in life, no one gets everything he or she wants. If you want to get through your divorce smoothly, have realistic expectations. Unrealistic expectations result in a drawn out, expensive, and more painful divorce. When you let your emotions take control you also make your divorce attorney’s job more difficult.  Your divorce attorney wants what is best for you and will provide you with advice and explanations based upon the law, and how the law applies to the facts of your case, not based upon emotion.

Work with your divorce attorney, but don’t be too needy. Calling your attorney several times a day will not help you or your attorney. Pestering your attorney will alienate your most important ally during your divorce.

It is more helpful if you collect your thoughts and questions into a detailed email.

Divorces can get ugly, even when there is a prenuptial agreement (although such an agreement makes it less likely). Don’t let a mistake make your divorce process more difficult than it needs to be. Never allow your initial sadness, guilt or regret transform itself into anger. Your anger will translate into a long, painful and expensive divorce.  It’s okay to be sad, guilty, regretful and even angry.  But work through those emotions, to a state of acceptance, and don’t let those emotions interfere with the sound advice given to you by your divorce attorney.


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