Divorces are messy businesses. Both parties are mentally in states ranging from hurt to anger, and every spectrum in between. As a San Diego divorce lawyer, it can be difficult to mitigate a divorce, because it’s always your job to best represent your client. In divorce cases, this can mean deepening or reopening mental scars. Women are at times more susceptible the mental fatigue divorce tends to bring with it; use these seven tips to help you navigate through a divorce.
1. Revamp Your Approach
When you’re dealing with a divorce you can choose to allow your emotions to drive your actions, or you can take a new approach. You can control the situation by not allowing your emotions to drive your decisions. The first step in this direction is hiring the right divorce attorney. You should choose an attorney that is both competent and compassionate.
2. Focus on You
No good divorce attorney would suggest stalking your ex to find dirt for court. Plus, giving all your attention to a person whom you are divorcing is psychological terror on you. Quit obsessing over him, and focus on yourself. This is easier said than done, but it’s the healthiest way to get on with your life. Shift your focus inward instead, and think about the things you can do to work on moving forward.
3. Show Yourself Some Love
In keeping with focusing more on yourself, refocus the love you once shared with your partner inward. As a woman, it’s easy to focus on everybody but yourself. You’ve likely even been concerned to share your feelings and anxieties related to your divorce with anyone for fear you may add undue burden to them. Take a spa day, go hiking, float a river, or do something else that you will find joy in, and think about sharing that activity with a friend. Redirecting your energy inward, and learning to love yourself instead of suppressing those needs will help you to have mental stability.
4. Empower Yourself
You need to feel independently strong again, so do something empowering for yourself. Do something that makes you feel strong. This includes filing for your divorce first. It will give you the ability to claim the things you wish to receive from your divorce. Many divorce attorneys say that when a wife files first, it gives a renewed sense of respect in the eyes of the husband; which has at times produced reconciliation.
5. Be Financially Assertive
Know your finances. Too many women allow their husbands to be the sole monetary managers. In the event of divorce women often don’t know what monies are available to them, where their business standings are, or what the general sense of the financial standings are. By knowing your financial standings you will be able to mitigate the circumstances of your divorce proceedings where business assets are concerned far better. You will also be more prepared to deal with family budgeting.
6. Be Available
It’s important to be available to your divorce attorney. They will likely advise you to show up for depositions and other court proceedings. While this may seem intimidating to some women, it is an important part of facing your past and moving forward. Most divorce attorneys will allow you to come in late and leave early if it makes you more comfortable. Facing the situation head on will also help restore your mental fortitude.
7. Remember It’s the Simple Things In Life
It’s been said many a time “it’s the simple things in life,” and when you are enduring a divorce this couldn’t be truer. The best advice that could be given to any woman facing divorce is to take pleasure in the smallest of moments. Anything from a bubble bath to ice cream with a friend can bring you small moments of pleasure. Each small moment builds back up your sense of security and happiness. So savor the small moments.
Divorce is often messy. With all the emotions involved, it can be difficult to stop and smell the roses, so to speak. Take in every moment, love yourself, and build yourself back up. Find the divorce attorney that will help you establish a greater future moving forward.